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Pretention

• 09.13.09
  Taken When Jonty Murdered Midnight MacGuffin Pretention | (0)

  I've had enough, he's done it this time. Jonty discovered Midnight MacGuffin and his children hiding out in the wardrobe where Maxie and I hid him and he's murdered them with a cricket bat. He's a murderer! [singlepic=13] It's hard for me to talk about this - because I'm sensitive and artistic - but I'm going to let you know what happened. Yesterday afternoon, just as I got back from Jazzercise, I came in the house to hear Jonty, upstairs, swearing. He was using all the biggies. It was 'F' this and 'F' that and 'Come here you F-ing C!', you know really horrid ...
• 09.12.09
  Taken When Jonty Fell Down The Stairs Pretention | (1)

  Well, well, well, Jonty's selfishness is at an all time high. He threw himself down the stairs in the middle of the night to try and make me cross. He's wearing a dressing gown by Matalan. [singlepic=12] As a result of his outrageous tantrum he's ruined the piece I was working on, called In The Steps Of Genius. When I found him this morning in that crumpled heap at the bottom of the stairs he claimed he fell over the shoes in the middle of the night when he was coming down for some Robinsons! This is clearly a lie. He obviously trashed up ...
• 09.11.09
  Taken When Jonty Had A Sneak Preview Pretention | (0)

  Well Maxie's left for London so it's just me and Jonty in the house. So, as a special treat for him after work, I gave Jonty a preview of my new jewellery collection: Danger! High Voltage and even allowed him to model it for me! [singlepic=11] As you can see Jonty is wearing a lovely black shirt by George at Asda, jeans by The Gap, a black cap that he got from his father Rodney and two pieces from the Danger! High Voltage collection! I'm not keen on him wearing that cap, I think it distracts from the overall tone, and - ...
• 09.10.09
  Taken When Jonty Tried Ethnic Drumming Pretention | (0)

  Jonty's behaviour of late has been inexcusably bad - what with him damaging my car and putting me at risk by tackling burglars - I'm sure you'll all agree. That's why Maxie and I thought it would be a good idea to see if we could bring Jonty out of his self obsessed phase by slipping a whole load of khat into his stew and getting him to do a bit of African drumming! [singlepic=7] As you can see once we'd slipped him into one of Maxie's friend Tinotenda's boubous and got an udu in his hands he was well away. That's what's so ...
• 09.09.09
  Taken When Jonty Was Listening To Me Read Him My Poetry Pretention | (0)

  Jonty returned home from hospital today, he hasn't said much and he's got a bruise on his face. I think he may have got this last night when he got beaten up in the kitchen for being a show off. Anyway, to cheer him up I decided to read him some poetry that I wrote today with Max. Today's picture shows Jonty rapt and enchanted by my words, he's wearing a shirt and jeans from Gap. [singlepic=6] I know this site is supposed to be about what Jonty wore - that's why I called it that - but I thought it would be ...
• 09.08.09
  Taken When Jonty Thought He Heard A Burglar Pretention | (0)

  I suppose this counts as today's photo, technically, as it was taken at two in the morning. [singlepic=5] Anyway, earlier this morning Jonty woke me up and told me he thought he heard a noise downstairs, I told him not to worry as it was probably Midnight MacGuffin our little mouse friend, scouting around for treats in our pantry. Well, it transpires that mice don't actually make a lot of noise and rarely rifle through DVD collections. Who'd have known! Jonty's not a creative type like me though, so I doubt he imagines Midnight MacGuffin's adventures like I do. I picture him going ...
• 09.07.09
  Taken When Jonty Got In The Way Of My Car Pretention | (0)

  As I was reversing out of the drive today, in my Peugeot 206, I accidentally hit Jonty. It wasn't my fault, the eight-track that Jonty had installed for me (tres retro!) was on and I couldn't hear his cries over the soothing sounds of Henry Mancini. [singlepic=4] As you can see, he seems quite badly injured but as I said to him - after I took this photo and my house keys off him, don't know what he was doing with them - while he stood there burbling on about ambulances, if he will keep going outside when I have to leave ...
• 09.06.09
  Taken When Jonty Had A Bad Hair Day Pretention | (0)

  We woke up this morning to find Jonty's hair all dishevelled, I guess he must have been having the dreams about being a centaur again, his hair was ridiculous! [singlepic=3] Not only was his hair like that but the bed was full of mud and as I couldn't sleep anymore I went downstairs to have a cup of Rooibos Downtime and watch a bit of The Seashell and the Clergyman by Germaine Dulac as it always calms me down when I'm cross. Like the time when Jonty burnt my croissant in the oven and wouldn't say sorry enough. Anyway later on we tried ...
• 09.05.09
  Taken When Jonty Thought He’d Won The Lottery Pretention | (0)

  We had a brilliant day today counting all my seashells - that I'd collected when I went to the south of France with Max and Eleise - and watching some bootleg TR Warszawa DVDs Jonty had found in the local Oxfam (only £70 each, bargain!) on our retro black and white TV! [singlepic=2] Things got even better later when Jonty told me he'd bought a lottery ticket earlier in the week just so that we could pretend to be like the common people and put all our hope into a sixteen million to one shot! It was going to be so ironic. ...
• 09.04.09
  Taken When Jonty Was Coming Back From Work Pretention | (2)

  Jonty went to work today (as he has to do everyday, no allowance for him, ha-ha!) and then came back.  This is his outfit when he came back. He's wearing a really cool Taylor & Wright suit from Matalan. [singlepic=1] The suit's colour is Obsidian Obelisk and goes really well with the shirt, also Taylor & Right, which is in Dusky Snow Drift. The tie is Ben Sherman and I think it looks really fab! Shoes are St George by Duffer. The bag is Praybourne and contains a Lenovo Thinkpad R400, it weighs a tonne but luckily Jonty's ...

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