Pretention

Taken When Jonty Had A Fight With Bono

I’ve forgiven Jonty and moved back in with him.

It was all I could do after he rescued me from the clutches of Max – who I’ve discovered is a bit of a filth monger. Jonty has explained to me that what I thought to be relaxing coffee – Row Hip Knoll – is in fact a drug. A rather nasty drug that makes people all limp and weak, I can’t bring myself to tell you what the papers call it.

My spelling is completely wrong too. It’s Rohypnol.

Anyway today’s photo shows Jonty shouting at Bono – on speakerphone – in a shirt from Burton’s.

For those that don’t know Bono is from a band called U2 and is a bit of a crusader on the quiet seemingly! Jonty’s been getting harassed by him for a couple of weeks now, Bono wants Jonty to join him and (Sir) Bob Geldof on a trip across Africa to save some little brown orphans from adoption by Madonna and Angelina Jolie.

Jonty really doesn’t want to go, he doesn’t like the heat and thinks that Africa smells a bit. Not only that but he’s especially annoyed that Bono has shown so little consideration to the fact that a new series of Peep Show has started on Channel 4.

It’s not that he’s not interested in saving little brown orphans from the clutches of Madonna and Angelina Jolie – or The Harpies as Jonty calls them – it’s just that when there’s top drawer comedy on the telly, it’s not much fun trekking across Africa fending off muscly women that should know better.

Jonty says that Madonna needs the blood of between three and four small brown orphans a day in order to retain her ability to fly. It’s not that he’s not concerned but come on people it’s Peep Show for flip’s sake!

Anyway I’ve decided to be a bit more caring, so for Jonty’s sake I’ll be doing this blog on Monday’s, Wednesday’s and Friday’s from now on. I’ll let you know how it goes with Bono.

speak up

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